Happy New Year my lovelies!

So today’s observation about the lifestyle I choose, ENM, is a casual sort of relationship right? So why is there this tug and pull at my heart strings after a wonderful day or night of mind blowing sex.

Here’s what happens typically. Meet said “friend” based on the back and forth banter on text messages on dating apps. Talk about consent and sexual appetites. I generally meet up in a public place first, for my safety, to give him the once over. I look into his eyes because I can read someone’s soul being an Empath.

If I like his smell, his mouth, or his hands, I am usually good to go back to my place for some fun.

The next thing I decide whether to invest in a romp, is the “kiss”. If a man can’t kiss, I can’t get wet. That’s what starts the launch sequence for me. Especially wet, slurpy, noisy ones! My nipples will become engorged and my vag, Mathilda, (yes I have a name for my pussy), will become wet, slurpy, and hot, temperature wise.

Anyone in my past or current partner group figures this out quickly when I begin to moan while being kissed. Usually my feral self will rip off my bra, mount my partner’s lap, straddling him so he play and suck my then, very engorged, very erect nipples. That’s usually when my body makes the decision to flow with this hot man.

I play around with Tantric massage and have learned about the myriad of pleasure points on a man’s body. I will lick and suck his ears, neck, stroke his hair and scalp. This is usually the point of no return for my partners. You know that look ladies, when you see the sexual, primitive, wanton devilish grin of someone lusting for your body. I get a cluck in my throat, and my breath gets heavy and deep when I see that look!

I love my partner’s body, all over it, touching, sucking, licking or kissing him while he is moaning my name or using sexy talk to keep me going providing this pleasure carnival. I was told twice that I sucked at oral sex, giving not receiving. (I am a squirter when I receive). So with the help of Sean Jameson’s, Bad Girls Bible, I learned everything about a man’s pubic area; shaft, frenulum, balls, prostate, and head of his penis and how to pleasure all of them, very well. I like to think of it as an art form. I have a few signature moves while I am orally pleasuring my partner. I have a move that is called “the triple threat”, (email me if you want this delicious recipe of pure ecstasy and fluid sexual energy), for both him and me. (Why else do it, right?) My partners who will read this, know exactly what that move is and usually their penis vibes until the next day. I also deep throat for up to 30 seconds, until I need to breathe. Doing a sequence of four sets of 30 seconds, my partner will want to cum, or pretty close. Licking a man’s ball sack has become my new favorite move…tenderly kissing, swallowing, well not really, and sucking greedily. But first, ask a man if they like this, as some men are more sensitive than others in the balls region. I also give my partner a nipple massage on their balls and anus. That even turns me on!

I like fingering my partner while I am making love to his “crown jewels”.

I am in the process of creating a sex menu I can present at each new encounter. You know, appetizers, like kissing and foreplay, main course, fingering, oral, anal, if they are into it, and the dessert, (drum roll please), fucking!

The tug and pull I mentioned earlier, is that awkward point after mind blowing sex, when my partner is putting on his drawers and getting off the bed. That’s when I feel the loneliness set in, even before they actually leave my house. Some men don’t cuddle after casual sex, and seem almost repulsed by my neediness for afterglow intimacy.

Then the worst happens, they try to offer some lame line about not wanting a commitment, or not having much time to invest in a “regular” thing. Ouch! I am still wet with his juices on me and I am getting the not so subtle blow off!

That’s when I walk him to the door, get a chaste kiss, not at all like the earlier hot kisses. Then I open the door and they disappear from view, as they walk down my stairs. I look at the mess on my bed and feel that all too familiar feeling of rejection. Then I start it all again, looking for partners whom might think of me as a woman who is great at other things besides sex.